An update on our previous message about wheat and wheat by-products: You should not eat wheat or wheat by-products!!, say several frantic scientists, waving clipboards in our studio. As it turns out, all wheat and wheat by-products, for unknown reasons, have turned into venomous snakes, which are crawling all over our small city, causing even more chaos than is normal! These snakes have been described as "terrifying", "loathsome", and "probably from the bowels of Hell itself"! Also, "green" and "three feet long". If you have any wheat or wheat by-products in your home, you are almost certainly already dead.

...Sorry about that.